Hey everyone! Good to see ya, happy to meet ya. I'm Sheldon, but you can call me Smalls.
Yeah, I'm the sensitive soul who started life under a snowball stand in a Shell Station parking lot. Get it? Sheldon? (Mom thought she was real punny with that one.) Ba-dum-psh 🥁
I'm typically hangin around the house strategically positioned over thresholds. Don't ask me why, I just like making a statement, okay?
Now, lemme tell you why Mom is the cats meow when it comes to... What's it called? Copywriting? Okay sure, that. First off, she discovered me when I was just a little 7 week old furball. Small enough to fit into the palm of her hand… (She thought she was so clever 🤦♂️). Well, joke's on her because I became the biggest of the bunch!
What makes Mom the purrfect wordsmith? She knows how to get through to your target audience. For example, she knows the way to my heart is through my stomach. I'm not shy about my love for food, folks. And I make it known with my slobbery lip smacking. Just showing my appreciation, nothin' wrong with that!
Now, I'm not just a fluffy face, 😸 I've got tricks up my whiskers for days. This may come as a surprise to you, but I'm very food motivated and learned how to "give paw." Mom trained me well.
Sure, I may be a bit shy around strangers, and why shouldn't I be? Trust needs to be earned and I don't know you... “Sniff sniff” Heeeey, friend, wait…! You bring chicken nuggies for lunch? 🤤
Anyways, you can't go wrong with Mom on your team for... What're we talking about again? For President? COPYWRITING? Ahem yes, copywriting... Well, look, she's got the best treats, belly rubs, and purr-suasion skills to make your brand stand out. What more could we want?
Hi! I'm Paxton! All my friends call me Legs, but we’ll get to that!
If you look up the dictionary definition of a lap cat, you'll find ME! And no, I’m not surprised to see you, my eyes are always this big. 👀 Helps me bird watch and see snacks comin’ from miles away!
Now, I loooove making biscuits and am the best at my craft, which is how I know my Mom is the best at hers.
When Sheldon was a few months old, Mom could tell he was lonely. So she thought, “My cat needs a cat…" And when she saw my cute self on BARCS adoption page, she knew we'd be best pals! Boy, was she right. She's good like that. 😄
BARCS diagnosed me with CH (Cerebellar Hypoplasia). Fancy Schmancy way of sayin’ that my back half has a mind of its own. So it wasn't long before I got the nickname Legs! Don't let my "handicap" (aka sexy leg swaying walk) fool ya. I'm SUPER smart and cause a lot of mischief with a touch of klepto, haha.
I especially like to steal (I mean, "collect") things I’m not allowed to have. With that being said, I'd like to proudly announce that I am the SOLE reason why Mom had to baby-proof the kitchen!
SO if you want the opinion of a handsome, sly, very vocal, green-eyed ninja cat, you'll give my Mom a go! Cuz if she believes in your business and loves your products even a fraction of how much she loves me? ✨WOW✨ You're in for a treat. (Someone say treats...??? 👀)
What's up guys, I'm Grayson, but I go by O.C.
I know what you’re thinkin… What kinda name is O.C.? Well when Mom found me as a stray, they already had Legs, another gray tabby. You met Legs, right? Cool dude. I didn’t have a name yet, and not only did they mix us up, but Dad refused to accept that Mom brought another one of us home. (Apparently, she does that a lot… 🤷♂️) So Dad started calling me the "other cat." Aka O.C. 😂 Mom wasn’t down with that; hence, Grayson was born... Cuz I’m gray and her son. Psh, how original. (I prefer O.C.)
But don't let my Mom’s cat naming ability stop you from working with her. She's the best! And lemme tell you why...
First things first, Mom is the real deal when it comes to crafting words. I've got the best view at her office windowsill, and her tippy tappy-ing on that keyboard sure does put a damper on my bird hunting. She feeds me, though, so I ain't put an official complaint in... yet.
When I need to get away from it all, I find a thrill in tightrope walking along the stair banisters. Mom's always yellin that I "need to get down cuz I don't pay my own vet bills..." What she doesn't understand is, I’d be able to if she'd just let me join the circus! 🎪
I also like to practice scaling walls and perching on armrests like a Gargoyle. Mom don't know it yet, but I do all this for her. Forreal! I keep her on her toes, so if it weren't for me, she wouldn't know how to balance work and multi-task. So, if you want a Copywriter who's as adaptable as a cat in a sunbeam, look no further cuz I trained her well!
🚨 Stanger danger! Stranger danger! 🚨
Oh… You know my Mom? Then you’re in luck. I'll only bark at you for 2 hours instead of 7. 🙃
I’m Millie… But I’m an old gal now, so I go by Mildred!
While Mom's focused on work and busy typing away, I'm on a mission... It's my duty to protect her and the homestead. A responsibility I take VERY seriously, just like Mom takes her writing.
I've done such a good job that I have 100% success rate of preventing break-ins and attacks from…
Delivery men
The old lady that walks our street
The neighborhood cat
The kids getting off the bus
That suspicious leaf that fell in our yard this morning
AND SO MUCH MORE 💪
Let me tell you the biggest reason my Mom is THE best Copywriter. I've taught her to be sooooo patient. Seriously! She may not be as patient, hard working, and dedicated if it weren't for me. So you're welcome...
Mom is pretty smart and catches on fast, too! I take medication twice a day, but could tell she needed some creativity in her life, so I stopped taking it. 😏 I forced her to get creative! It was either sink or swim, and she swam. So I know she'll be creative, dedicated, and swim for you too. Again, you're welcome.
I don't require much compensation... Just regular meals, snacks, belly rubs, lots of cuddles, and 90% in royalties if she works out. Good talk! 😎